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Submitted on
September 2, 2013
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79 (who?)
I'm a 19-year-old straight male, currently a student at university in a country you've never heard of.

There comes a time in our lives, usually when we are young, when we just want to shout our thoughts at the wrold, at everyone, even if we know nobody will hear. We see a commercial, we hear a line in a movie, we read a chapter in a book, which captures us violently, shakes us and we recover from the shake so stunned and amazed that we want to say everything that is on our mind in that same way. Then we pour a glass of water, juice, beer, something, sit by the open window staring at the passing cars or falling leaves, and start composing all the words in one finished thought.

This is pretty much what happened to me two minutes ago.

And it all started with the condition:

What if I told you...

What if I told you that some people don't think what they claim to think when they oppose you in an argument, no, they just want to stomp you with their leather boots and shout at you, "I'm better, you're pathetic, and you better correct yourself!". Just think of how this sounds!.. "Correct yourself"! They eagerly want to make you fit in their assembly line; and your tender heart feels the urge to protect itself, to change, to improve... and that's the mistake, because that wouldn't be improvement, it would just be a pointless attempt to keep what is already a dead relationshp. Yes. What if I told you that the relationship died that same moment when the person told you to change, or did anything else, delicate or not, that implied it. What if I told you that you should give up on this dreadful "friendship", or whatever you have, the moment you feel that you are the only one who cares...

What If I told you that Love exists. What if I told you that love does not last three years. That it lasts forever, till eternity; yes, just like in the tales you've heard, just like in the books you've read, just like the movies you've watched. What if I told you that only people who have never felt real love claim otherwise? What if I told you that it could really be just as it is in those fairytales? Oh, but it is, it is.
Your life is your fairytale. It's the secret everybody hides from you. You know you've felt it, oh, you have, but you've never felt to courage to think that it's true. Well it is. Yes, it is.

Whilst walking alone around the city a few days ago, an interesting and badly carved thought struck me; then I started to tailor it and it reached this: Life is a novel, and every page, everything is read by God himself; it is up to the writer of the novel to make it more interesting so that God wants to keep reading. But, God and Fate are divine beings, and they can add a few things every once in a while, but will nevertheless be interested to read what you have in mind... Still rusty, but that's a simple truth. So simple in fact, that I was stunned by my blindess up till that point.

And yes, what if I told you that those same divine beings are jealous. Oh, jealous they are! Jealous because they will never die, that they will never know the feeling of knowing that the next moment could be their last. A treausure you have, but all those who despise you want to take it from you, because they don't have it.

What if I told you that all those words you've heard about work, money, connections, power, fame - they are all just a part of the arsenal of those who do not want you to feel the sweet electrifying power of Freedom, these people are the real devils of this world.
Yes, what if I told you that you can believe in God if you want, and can simply not believe if you don't want... You don't have to log into all the forums or start giving speeches, claiming how wise and smart you are just because you "don't need God to know what is right or wrong" or whatever, and vice versa - you don't have to point out how you are part of a master race, just because you are Muslim or Orthodox, or Protestant, or whatever.

The moment you do point it out - and you turn into those people with the leather boots I talked about earlier. Indeed, what if I told you that showing off your diffrences("I'm gay and proud, I'm Macedonian and proud, I'm atheist and proud, I'm Christian and proud, I'm a gamer girl and proud, I listen to metal music") is the urge to be part of the devils, yes, that same moment you show it off - you just want to feel on top, you want to feel supreme over those who opressed you. It's just a mild feeling in the beginning, but then it spreads like a wildfire.

And as much as I try to avoid the cliches - yes, what if I told you that you are not a worthless piece of sh*t if you are fat, if you don't have a job or a girlfriend, if you don't drink or smoke, no, in fact, that makes you all the more unique, you better feel proud of it. But just feel, not show off. Oh, How I love this word - feel...
What if I told you that many have forgotten it's meaning, many don't even use it. The proof is our cold brick world, that same world of technology and internet which made us all the more free, and at the same time - slaves of others' opinions and stereotypes, slaves... What an ugly word - a slave - my people lived 500 years under slavery, maybe that's why I'm so emotional about all this. Emotional - another word the devils like to use against you. "Pull yourself together, you're too emotional!", "You're just too emotional", "You shouldn't be so emotional", "Forget about those emotions!". What? Oh, you've heard those? And it hurt you? I bet it did. I hurt me as well. And all this has so deeply been rooted in our minds that we think that being emotional, writing poetry, loving blindly somebody, falling in love from first sight, believing or not believing, loving nature - is so wrong that we should... correct ourselves. So we can just fit in.

What if I told you that dreaming does not mean you are weak. That being a good person doesn't make you a weak person. Just look at that! Look how society has made us think that good =/= strong, and evil (oh, but they don't use this word, they use "open-minded" or "eager", "pushy", "ambitious") = strong! When it's vice versa! And it's so obvious, so clear, and yet - those who want it kept hidden do manage to keep it hidden. Horriffic!

What if I told you all this? Would you still think freedom is unreachable?

I'd say it isn't. Freedom is in your palms. Yes, look at your palms, your own, unique palms. I'll never have them, but you do, right here, right now. This is not YOLO, this is Carpe Diem. Board the plane and go to a place where nobody knows you, lose everything and you will feel free, lose all those who keep you chained to their comfortable status quo.
Listen to the music you like, pray to the God you want, even make one up if you'd like to, or don't pray at all, eat what you want, write what you want, think what you want. Be who you are meant to be. Or whatever, be who you want to be. It's so simple, yet so well hidden...
You don't need anybody to be happy, to be yourself. Get on that plane, reach that distant place, find the blue-eyed love of your life, and smell the winds of FREEDOM...
/And all this is the reason I decided against studying philosophy at university, I knew I would disagree with 99% of the philosophers, and I would still have to memorise their beliefs, otherwise it would have been "bye, bye!" for me./
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AlexandraAmour Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2013
Marvelous work you've done there. I can't disagree that you have talent and your writing certainly can make people stop and think about their lives. It makes you think over your whole life and realise that you mustn't be someone who the others wants you to be. You just have to be yourself if you want to find the true happiness in your life.  So thank you for this writing of yours. I really enjoyed it while I was reading it.

P.S: Your country, I have heard f it. In fact I am living in that country and I can say that I'm somehow nationalist and it's sad to see it sink and becoming forgotten.
Bullcross Featured By Owner Dec 18, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
A very late answer to your flattering comment. There's not too much I can say besides a big thank you, I literally channelled the thing. So, we're from the same country and we communicate in English - talk about Western influence :D
AlexandraAmour Featured By Owner Dec 19, 2013
 ^ w ^ Funny but true. Actually it's sad that our country is so influenced by the Western culture. Nothing personally about but I believe that we should keep iurselves the way we are.  And as I said before, amazing work. It really deserves a praise. 
Abbagale Featured By Owner Oct 5, 2013
I never fully realised before reading this, that everything you have said is true...that I also have had the same train of thought flow through my mind never really knowing how to phrase it. So i thank you. 
Bullcross Featured By Owner Oct 5, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I'm really glad it reached you, even after so much time. No problem))...
weekendhunters Featured By Owner Sep 21, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Well, all of the ideas make sense, that's for sure. Thanks for writing it down.
Naktarra Featured By Owner Sep 21, 2013   Writer
Oh damn, this is amazing. I just stumbled upon this in my inbox and I love it so much. <3

Bullcross Featured By Owner Sep 21, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Amazing things fate can do, right! :D
Naktarra Featured By Owner Sep 21, 2013   Writer
I would really like to see more writing from you too!

I don't like the draw or anything and I've decided to stop drawing, but it kinda made me learn that it's kinda hard to get people's attention with writing on DA.
Bullcross Featured By Owner Sep 22, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Yes, indeed, the trick is... well, this is not my first writing on DA, I've been writing and posting on the site for loong time, and this is the first thing that gets attention. Not enough to get on the front page, but still - enough for me.

You should post to groups your stuff, sooner or later one of them will be noticed and when somebody sees one good work from you, he'll probably check out the rest. Plus - it's easier for drawings to get famous, unlike written stuff on DA. Good luck!
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